I met Justin on OkCupid in July 2014. His typing manner is very eloquent in his profile and when he speaks. He’s from Dublin, Ireland, born July 16, 1974. He told me he moved to the US when he was 23 years old and married a woman by the name Erin shortly after. They both lived in the Boston, Mass area, then later moved to NH. They had one daughter. He said he divorced in 2012 and that his wife and daughter had moved out of their home and he resided in the home in NH till he moved to the Houston area. I asked him how he ended up here and why didn’t he stay close to his daugher in NH. He said he had work opportunities here in Houston. He said he moved here with help of his sister’s friend. His sister he said, used to live outside the San Antonio area. He said he was doing contract carpentry work here. He said he lived in an apartment in Friendswood, Tx (outside Houston). He made it sound like he was doing well with starting a new life. I asked him if he was planning on having his daughter come visit him here and he said he didn’t think that his ex would allow it. I asked him as to why she would keep her daughter from him, because he is her father. He said that she’s difficult. I suggested he go visit her, then he said he can’t return to NH because of too many bad memories. He then confessed he was in AA and had been for nearly 2 years. He said he was a recovering alcoholic. I didn’t let this keep me from talking to him, although I should have. He seemed like such a nice person and he was definitely charming as well. We finally met face to face in Aug 2015. It was a Saturday and he said his car was in the shop and he would take Metro to the museum. I said that it was Saturday and Metro will not be running from any Park n Rides from Friendswood to the museum district. He said not to worry, that he will find a way to get there. I then get a call from him saying that his friend dropped him off in Discovery Green. I said that that it’s not the museum district. I drove out there and met him at the park. He looked clean cut and very handsome. Very beautiful green eyes and silver hair. Very good body as well! We went to eat dinner and had a good laugh. After that, I dropped him off in Montrose at Agora Cafe. He asked me if I would want to see him again. I said yes. We then resumed our long conversations by phone. I saw him again in Sept 2015. This time he said he would meet me at the museum since we didn’t get to go. I get there and he surprised me with flowers. Not just a few flowers, but a vase full of roses, 12 to be exact. 10 red and 2 yellow. Yellow representing my sons! I was floored. He had the security officer keep them at the front desk for him, then took me over to the desk to get them. We then took the flowers to my car. We went back inside the museum and had a great time. It was time for lunch and I asked him where he parked. He said his friend dropped him off again. I asked why, he said his car was in the shop still. So we went to dinner at Houston’s, then had a stroll at Williams Tower, then went to Empire Cafe. It was a great day. I loved being with him. Our conversations were funny and sometimes deep. We kissed for the first time at the end of the night. I went on my way and he said his friend was going to pick him up. I never waited to see his friend pick him up, but I should have.
He seemed like a great guy! He said he wanted to move closer into town and that he was looking at townhomes with a friend. He then mentioned the move should be easy since he didn’t really have much. I said “Wait, but you sent me a picture of your living room in your apartment and it was fully furnished.” He probably didn’t remember sending me that pic, but he said “Oh that was my roommate’s furniture.” I said “You never mentioned a roommate living with you in the apartment.” He said that it was a woman. I asked if she was involved with him, he said “No”, but that she moved out and took her things and he has only has a bed, tv and some personal items. I said “Isn’t living in a 2 bedroom too expensive?”. He said he could afford it. I asked him if he would like to get together this one particular weekend when I didn’t have my sons with me. He said he would. Then he called back and said he couldn’t. I asked why the change of plans. He said that he can’t drive his car because it will probably break down. I thought it was a real issue, him having his car in the shop and then it still not working well. I asked what kind of car. He said a 2000 Corolla. He said he was trying to buy a truck. He also had told me he had a “standard” transmission Audi on order and was waiting for it. He then confessed to not having a Tx driver’s license, because his NH license was suspended. I asked why, he said over someone stealing his truck, then getting in a wreck and refusing to pay for the damages the car thief caused. He said the state took his license away and he’s not been able to get a Tx driver’s license because of it and that his coworkers and friends drive him around.
I didn’t like the story, sounded weird, so I went online and started to dig. I found out he was arrested 3 times in NH. 2 for driving violations, one of which he didn’t have a driver’s license. The other arrest was “no authorization of use or transporting of…”, I didn’t see the whole sentence but it indicated he had taken something without permission. The sentence wasn’t complete. I then asked him again if he’s hiding something from when he lived in NH. He said “Nothing.” Then I sent him the link to the arrest records I found on him. He was furious that I was checking up on him. He explained that he had forgotten his wallet with his driver’s license, the unauthorized use or transporting of… was when he walked out of a CVS with a pencil in his ear, because he said he’s used to putting pencils behind his ear because of his carpentry work. He said he picked it up with the intent on paying for it, but he walked out with it and said the manager called the police and they took him to jail. He said the other arrest was him not having his insurance. He said he was trying to make a new start here and he was stigmatized living in the town in NH and he couldn’t go back because the cops were always watching him. I told him I couldn’t be with a man in his 40’s that is still acting up like a kid in his 20’s. We didn’t speak for a few days. He was angry at me for being nosy, but I was angry at him for lying to me as to why he couldn’t drive here.
Stupid me, I missed him. We had been talking/texting everyday since we met online and I decided to give him a 2nd chance. It was a mistake. We mended our differences in opinion. He said he was really trying to get on the right track and needed me to believe in him. He’s so charming and put on a good show, I fell for it. Well after that, every time I would ask him to see if he wanted to meet up, he would have some excuse. I would go to clubs downtown and tell him where I was going. I thought he could get a ride or take a cab. I lived 45mins away, so it wasn’t easy to see him, but going some place closer to Friendswood was better than a 45 min drive. He always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t go. After a few attempts to get him to meet me, he started to text me less and act strangely. One night he said he was going to let me know if he was going to the club or not, he said he was going to call around. He said he would let me know yes or no. I never heard from him the rest of the night. The next day I told him that I wished he could have at least let me know that he wasn’t going instead of just leaving me hanging all night. He said “I’m sorry I have no excuse, I should have let you know I wasn’t going. I don’t think I need to be in a relationship right now.” I said “Oh, now I understand why you’ve been acting so distant.” I was heartbroken. I gave him a 2nd chance after finding out he had some arrests in NH and then he decides a month or so later to back off. I was very upset by it, because I was very fond of him. This was October already and I hadn’t seen him since the museum date in early Sept 2015.
Throughout our chats, he said a few things about his past that I remembered, that I will later confirm weren’t true. I will get to those later in the conclusion of Justin.
A week or so after he basically dumped me, I had a really rough day. A series of unfortunate events happened within a day or so and I texted him, not even thinking about the fact that we were broken up. I told him that I was at the vet putting my cat down and all these other things that happened at the same time. Then I said “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have contacted you, but I did it out of habit.” He said he was glad I texted him because he realized he made a HUGE mistake. He said he felt stupid the next day after letting me go and that he realized that he let go of the most perfect person for him. I was so dumb, I fell for it. We began to talk again. He asked me for forgiveness and he said he wanted to be mine and me to be his. Silly me.
Towards the end of October, I asked him if he wanted to spend Thanksgiving with me, because I wouldn’t have my boys that weekend. He said he would love to. We decided to just go out to eat, just the two of us. About a week or so later, he started acting distant again. Then suddenly, he said he may have to fly to Dublin because his close relative, an uncle , was in the hospital suffering from a stroke and he may not pull through. The next day he said he couldn’t go to Dublin, then all of the sudden, I didn’t hear from him for 4 days. We texted or talked every day, so 4 days without hearing from him and him not replying to me, made me think he left for Dublin. I felt as if I was being ignored as well, possibly he wasn’t in Dublin, but was just not replying to me for whatever reason. I sent him an email asking why he’s ignoring me and if he really doesn’t want me around, then to let me go. A day later, he replies. He said he was in Dublin. He said that he dropped his cell phone getting out of the cab at Bush Airport. He said he had to replace his cell phone in Dublin and that he didn’t take his laptop or tablet. He was angry with me in the email saying that he didn’t understand why I was accusing him of ignoring me. He said that he needed his freedom and didn’t need me to question his where abouts. He was acting so weird and rude, I didn’t understand where it was coming from. I replied defending my actions with the email, then he replied saying he’s sorry, he’s just tired and achy from the long flight and that he’ll get back to me soon.
Then I get a text from him, which I didn’t understand how he could do it. I asked him how he obtained a Houston cell phone number in Dublin on a new iphone. He said he had some long distance plan, etc. He always had an excuse. I asked friends of mine who are well traveled and all of them said that he couldn’t get a Houston number out of the country, he’d have to get an Irish phone number if he replaced his iPhone. Well, the texts came in less. He always had an excuse as to why he wasn’t staying in contact; visiting relatives and old friends, going to other parts of Ireland, but never mentioning how his “sick uncle” was doing. He mentioned how he went to a pub, which he shouldn’t have since he’s in AA, but he bought pints for people there, but didn’t drink.
Thanksgiving was getting closer. I asked him if he was going to be back for Thanksgiving. He said “No, I’m going to probably have to stay a bit longer.”. I was heartbroken. I had a feeling he would probably stay for Christmas and New Year’s too. I asked him that in another text and got no reply. Weeks went by and I heard nothing. Then, mid December I get an email from Justin.
He said that he fell of the wagon, starting drinking into an oblivion and checked himself into a hospital there in Dublin. He gave me the name of the hospital too, making it sound like it was really happening. He said that he had been in treatment for 2 wks and was unable to contact me. He said that he doesn’t want to ruin my life with his addiction and that it’s best that we end our relationship for the both of us. He said he was sorry for hurting me, but that he would only be hurting me more if he stayed with me. He said he let himself down. It was a heart wrenching email and it left me in tears. I replied back telling him that I wasn’t going to leave him because of his illness, that I had seen he was a good person, but just trying to work things out. He never replied. It was the saddest Christmas season ever. I was more sad during that Christmas than when I alone for the first time after my own divorce.
Dec 28th. I get an email from Justin and I was shocked. He had bid me farewell from Dublin and said he may not ever return, etc and here was this email out of nowhere. He said he was back in Houston, but didn’t have a phone because he “dropped it”. He said he is using his his friend’s phone to check his email. He said he really wanted to see me again and really wanted to explain his ordeal in Dublin. I said “ok”. He said he would get to my house somehow. I gave him my address. He showed up in a 2012 Subaru Forester. I asked him who’s car it was and he said a friend lent it to him. We stayed up late talking about what had happened in Dublin. He was teary eyed and felt sorry for falling off the wagon. He said that he just didn’t want to put me through another bad ordeal since my ex husband was an alcoholic too. Well, he played his violin strings and I fell for it all.
It wasn’t long before he was in my bed and stayed the night. The next morning, he woke up to leave and his tire was flat. He opened up the back of the car to get things out to change the tire. I noticed that all the things in the back were carpentry tools. I thought, maybe it’s a carpenter friend or coworker, never really thought that maybe it was his own car and he’s had it all along. I asked him what year model and he said “2012”. Then he pulled out a flip phone from his glove compartment and said he is going to use that phone till he can get a new one and will be texting me to give me the number. Well he texted me later and the number was long distance. I looked it up and the cell belonged to someone in Boston, by the name Blane or Blair. wwwspydialer.com can be handy!
I wondered why he had a phone from Boston. I didn’t ask and I should have. Dec 31, I sent him a message saying he’s welcome to come over if he doesn’t have plans for the night. He said he would love to, but doesn’t have the Forester anymore. I picked him up at a Starbucks by The Galleria. We then went out to eat and came back to my house. He was in better spirits. He said that seeing me was the best thing that’s happened in a long time. We ended up in bed again. He stayed the whole day Jan1. Then I had to take him back to Webster, near Friendswood. He said he needed to go to an AA meeting and he gave me directions. When we pulled up to the strip center where there was a small church having something going on, he just got out quickly. I got out and went over to give him a hug. He looked like he was concerned about his surroundings. It was odd, he was so warm and affectionate and there he was, being sort of cold. He gave me quick hug and a quick kiss and quickly moved out of the way of my headlights. I got into my car and made the drive home, never knowing I would never see him again.
We texted for a week or so, he seemed distant again, acting like he did before. The last time I heard from him was Jan 21, 2015. He said he was going home from work due to a stomach issue. I said to text me the next day. He said he would. I never heard from him assuming he was sick. I texted him, he didn’t reply. I never heard from him again. 3 wks later I sent him a long email, telling him I had uncovered his lies. I had done more digging and found out a lot of things weren’t true.
The timeline of the things that he said that happened in NH doesn’t match up to what I found online. He said he filed for divorce in 2012 and she moved out in 2012 with their daughter, leaving him in the house. Then I see pictures of him being taken by Erin in family settings. They were still on each other’s Facebook “Together”. 2013, more pictures of them all together, then he said he came to Tx in April 2014. He said the house was sold. Then I look up the house and it was still occupied by his “ex”, but foreclosure papers were filed with the court in April 2014, same time he left. The house was put on the real estate market in Jan 2015, the same month he disappeared from my life for good. There was a fire in one of the bedrooms too, very odd. The pictures showed a burned out wall in a bedroom. The house as a dump. For someone who said he made 150k per year, he should lived in squalor, I don’t think he ever made that much money, I don’t think he was divorced either. I think he left his wife and daughter high and dry. Why leave your kid to move halfway across the country? I think he has warrants possible or maybe owes people money, there’s a reason why he said he couldn’t go back there. Why would you stay away from your own kid? I don’t think Dublin ever happened. It was just an excuse to get rid of me, but he didn’t know how to and he didn’t really know how to stay away. I don’t understand why he kept on coming back. The car situation here, was all untrue. He never had a Corolla, he never had a truck and he certainly didn’t have an Audi on order! Maybe he stole the Forester, I don’t know. He had those 3 arrests back in NH and 2 of them happened in one week! They were all in 2013 and 2014. I think he perhaps had a woman he lived with here in Tx and that was another reason why he couldn’t see me when I asked him to meet me. He always said he was at AA meetings in the evenings too. Well I just looked him up tonight and found out he was arrested on April 27, 2016 for burglary of a building. His bond was set at 2k. So he definitely is a criminal.
So what I’m saying ladies, if you meet a handsome Silver Fox named Justin James Behan with a sexy Irish accent, don’t fall for him! He’s full of lies and he can’t even keep up with all of them himself. He had a total of 6 different cell phone numbers from the time I met him online in July 2014 till Jan 2015. He said he would “Drop” his phone and then he would get another one. It’s possible he was stealing phones or perhaps changing his number to stay on the run. He hasn’t been active on his Facebook page since 2015 or his LinkedIn page for his business. He is not easy to trace. He also pays with cash only. He doesn’t carry a wallet, just a bundle of cash. I asked why he doesn’t have a wallet and he said the wallets hurt his back when he sits on them. He will have an excuse for everything he wants to get out of. He’s VERY charming, he’ll make you feel like a million bucks! I’m convinced he was trying to use me for something, whether it was s*x or money or both, I’m not sure. He definitely is hiding a lot. He paints a bad picture about Erin, but adores his daughter. Erin no longer has Justin on her Facebook page, just old pictures with him tagged. I don’t believe he is paying child support either, although he said he sent in $800 per WEEK to his daughter via a bank account. Someone who works in construction/carpentry doesn’t make that much and why not pay it to the AG in NH? It’s very odd, child support goes through the AG. No mother in their right mind going to trust that a man sends it to an account instead of the AG. He will spill his heart to you. Tell you about his poor upbringing in Dublin’s poor side of town. How he was adopted as an infant, how his adopted father was an alcoholic too. How his mother, would beat him for eating the last cookie in the jar. He will tell you about his injuries he sustained after falling off a 70ft rafter in Dublin, while working. How he nearly died, breaking many bones in his body, which gives him a lot of trouble now. He’ll tell you be became addicted to pain pills due to his pain over the years and took up drinking as well. He’ll then tell you that when the pills weren’t enough, he started to do heroin to deal with the pain, but cleaned up from that after realizing he was killing himself. Then he just had the alcohol to deal with. He’ll tell you Erin treated him horribly and didn’t appreciate him at all. He will speak of great things about his teen daughter who he says he loves more than anything in the world. He will say that he was coerced into marrying Erin. How they married here and they married in Dublin as well. He paints a hard life, but he also shows that he has a heart of gold, which is a lie. Just beware of him! He’s easy to fall for! I did and I’m still kicking myself! He didn’t steal my money, but he stole my heart. I was so stupid to fall for him. He’s very charming!